Sunday, October 22, 2006

Cecil the friendly potato farmer's mule

Our hero, DS slams the rotting wooden door closed behind him. The seemingly abandoned spooky desert shack with a dark history looks like the perfect place to hide out overnight, on this night when the moon is neither maning nor waxing, but full!. DS cautiously puts his eye against one of the many holes that are in the rich mahogany timberwork of the shack, and finds the truckers searching the nearby shruberies, acting as though they are completely unaware of our hero's hidden nook.
"what a spot of luck!" exclaimed DS (but in a whisper as not to give away his location) "Those brit's will never think to venture into a shack that obviously has no tea and crumpet making facilities". And of course, he was completely correct. after a quick glance over the area, the truckers found themselves not only lacking someone to mock, but also alone in the desert in, what only moments ago was the blazing sun, but what is now the dead of night.
shivering, the trucker named BoviJovi whipered "I..i...i say ch...chap, lets go and t...take in a show down the west end. I hear Les' Mis is on!"
but before they could take a step, a ghastly shadow leaps seemingly from nowhere, blotting out the light of the moon. Screams filled the air, as the shadow creature ravaged the trucker badasses. What a confrontation it must have been*
*While the Badass Brit truckers may have had a numbers advantage, not to mention a superior diplomatic tounge, the shadow creature is theoried to have many tounges, and while non are used for diplomatic discussion, they non-the-less seemed to win out in this confrontation. The shadow beast had the obvious psychological advantage over the BBT's, as it is common knowledge that Brits are afraid of the dark, so it goes to say that a beast made from the darkness itself would put 2 or even more brits, regardless of their proffession, in quite a state.
Also, the Shadow beast seemed to be about 10 ft tall, weigh about 4 tonnes, have acid breath, bone spikes for eyes and have poison blood.
DS However, he was completely oblivious to all of this however, for he had fallen asleep.

Will DS escape the beast? will he even realise there is a beast after him? Will the next blog be better than this one? only time will tell

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Man in a can!

Danger mouse and the Spice Girls uniting to take on the one and only "dangerspice" Reynolds in a one night only grudge match at the *insert big stadium name*!
But DS Reynolds is too strong for them! Danger mouse may have ultimate spy skills, a thirst for danger and a trustly british mole sidekick. The Spice girls may have..........um......breasts.....and perhaps spice..... . And together they may have Danger and spice, but only DS has the coke addiction, stick fighting abilities and knack for spicy south of the boarder cooking skillz required to be heralded as this centuries "DANGERSPICE"!

Peak your intrest? No? well ge the shit out of my blog then!
Story!
DS Reynolds, a renegade cop on the run from the law for a crime he probably didnt even maybe commit! Can he solve the clues in time to solve to mystery of his parters suspicious death, or will he fall deeper into a world of corruption?
Entry 1
Once a peaceful southern boy, DS (then standing for Dip Shit) liked riding through the woods and picking wild flowers for his sick mother....until one day a badass trucker gang drove into town, much like one trucker driving into a town...but grittier and smellier and on a much larger scale.....also, they seemed to have a heirarchy within the group, labeling one the leader, while others took on roles directly under the leader and so on, until you got to the new recruits who acted as the bottom rung of the social structure........
Anywho, these truckers were a rough bunch. I heard that they broke a window one time, and didnt even leave a note or apology or anything!. They were speeding up Route 99 (at least 33 higher than that sucker route 66) when they passed DS on the side of the road, picking up litter for one of the local environmental groups.
"Breaker Breaker BoviJovi, this is SteevieKicks, May I suggest that we partake in a smiggen of tomfoolery and play a jolly good gag on that chap we just passed?"
"I hear ya loud and clear SK, Oh thats a positivly splendid idea, let us begin at once!"
DS watched as the 2 huge rigs passed him, slowed, and began to turn back. They stopped just short of hitting him, at which point the drivers leapt from the drivers cabins and let loose with jibe after jibe in DS's direction.
"I say chap, you remind me of a fallen apple strudle" the trucker called BoviJovi said with spite
"with cream and glazed cherries" added his friend SteevieKicks
Now DS, being true to his name, didnt know what to make of these insults, but he felt he should act hurt so as not to iccur further mockery from these obviously fruity british badass truckers, SO he at once lept up in a frenzy of tears and confusion and ran of into the desert, tripping over tumbleweeds all the while until he came upon a wooden hut.......


What will happen next!?