Monday, November 27, 2006

Chester is the best-er

Our hero DS awakes in the shack to find it transformed into a unimposing, happy garden shed by the sunlight. A layer of dust and manure have slowly but surely covered him throughout the night. "This be whack!" exclaims DS as he brushes the filth from his body. "How'd I come to be covered from head to toe is shit?". And with this thought, sought out the find answers!
He thought back to his yonger days, watching Columbo and Quincy on tv, and wondered how they would solve the mystery. "I know!, I'll saerch for clues and then find someone to interview" DS spoke aloud (as all good detectives do). So, lighting up a cigar, DS began the search for clues. He searched through the tools onthe top shelf, he searched under the empty bags of manure, he even searched amongst the carefully laid out scribbled ramblings and bible quotations written in blood laid out on the stone table in the centre of the room, and he still found nothing!.
Geting frustrated, DS flung open the door of the shack and stomped out into the sunlight, only to find the butchered bodies of the badass british truckers lying in front of him.
"Rattlesnake milkshake!!" DS screeched like a little girl. "Mutha fuck!" he added.
DS looked upon the bodies of the truckers, taking notes in his trusty leather notebook (thank you Dr. Quincy). The bodies were not only butchered, but partially eaten, melted & poisoned. "We're going to need an ambulance here i think..." DS noted. "STAT!" he added.
He was just about to leave the crime scene, thinking he had collected all the information he needed to start an spicily dangerous adventure, when he noticed a piece of parchment stuck to one of the truckers heads with a long poiny knife. "by godffry! how did i miss that? its going right through his head!". DS read the letter. It read:

To Anusface (thats you!)

I have butchered your trucker friends and theres not a darn thing you can do about it! Furthermore, it was I who covered you in the manure from that wranglers shed! Even further more, you are a jerk a dork.
What are you going to do about it? I'll be at my summer house at PonySkull Cove if your man enough to throw fisticuffs!

Yours sincerely,
[Chester the] Huge hideous Beast.

Enraged, DS threw the letter onthe ground and gave it such a savage thrashing that it moved more, then started off to the pirate hometown of PonySkull Cove!